...which in truth, is quite unusual for me.

Some of you may remember this post of mine:

"I've also been considering returning to judo - I did a year or two of it about a decade ago, then redundancy and a new job with different hours forced me to quit. My only problem is my ears - a strange thing to say, but true. During the last ten years, I stretched my earlobes, and don't fancy getting a finger though them during training and having my ear ripped off. Thus I will have to retire the stretches, but don't know if they will shrink enough. If yes, then all is well and good, and off to judo I go. If no, then I have lost my stretches (harder than you think- they become part of you, literally and figuratively) and still no judo.

It's quite a dilemma for me."

Then again, you might not, but that doesn't matter as you've read it now!

Anyways, I've decided to go for it. My tunnels are out (they're not THAT big) and my earlobes are shinking slowly but surely. I've figured that even if they don't shink as much as I'd like, they will close, at least to look at. Okay, they might stretch out when I'm on the mat, but I can always tape them! Tape is the Judoka's friend. In the intervening weeks (I reckon I need to leave them for two to three months to see where they get to), I'll concentrate on building up a bit more fitness. Having a sport, something to go for, will motivate me. Sometimes doing exercise just for exercise's sake can become a little monotonous (this is my opinion, I know not everyone feels the same), even if you try to mix it up a bit!

Having now hit forty, I'm figuring that getting back to it sooner rather than later will mean it goes that bit easier for me! I have recently discovered that my old instructor is still there. He's a 5th Dan, and as he was just over 60 when I last did it, he must be well into his early seventies now, and he's still on the mat several times a week!

I've been thinking about this for some time. I'm not the best at making a decision, I admit freely, but this seems to have embedded itself deep into my psyche - I've been having the feeling that I need to go back and complete what I started, though Judo is something which is never complete, I guess. I did consider Taekwondo on several occasions, but have realised that TKD would not give me what I'm looking for.

I'm reasonably sure this isn't my mid-life crisis as I've been wanting to do it for a long time - it's just taken until now for me to work up the cojones to actually do it! The lack of sleep thing due to getting home late and starting early is still a real possibility- I'll just have to get more sleep on my non-judo days. Other people manage it, why can't I?

You may be wondering what the final thing was that made me decide to do it. Whilst on a judo forum I saw a book recommendation; "The Pyjama Game, by Mark Law". Reading it finally swung the decision. It's a great read, even if you've never been near a Dojo in your life- read it and you may find yourself getting on the mats yourself!

Awesome! Way to make a decision! Now you just have to commit to it!

Have you gone in and started it yet?

No start yet - I need to keep on shrinking my earlobes. They're closing niceley, but still too stretchy for my liking. I need to give them a fair few weeks I think. The possibility of a rip is all too real for my liking. Ears can take a battering at times- several of the guys there have a couple of cauliflower ears from the groundwork!

Okay, here's how things stand, and they probably stand quite differently to what you might be expecting!

My earlobes have shrunk quite a lot, they're actually pretty 'normal' now, not too stretchy at all, though I think they may have a ways to go yet. I had been thinking of setting a returning to Judo date, but last night something happened that has made me change my mind (cue dramatic music!).

I'd been out with some friends and got in late, so had made myself a snack and was reading my local paper. There was an advert for a new Kendo club starting up in my local town. This in itself may not sound that exciting, but Kendo has been the martial art I've been wanting to try for many years but have never had the chance and there has never been any classes withing a sensible driving distance of me.

I first saw a demonstration of Kendo on a Saturday morning kids' programme when I was 18 or 19, and was instantly drawn to it. I believe it was the GB Kendo team, though can't be sure. They gave an address to write to for more information, but that turned out to be for the Martial Arts Council and they advised me to look in my local library to try and locate a local club. I had no luck, as there weren't any clubs. This was all pre-internet days. A few years ago it was featured on Channel 4's 'The Games', and I watched with much envy. In the intervening years the internet has appeared, and I've looked at the BKA (that's the British Kendo Association) site quite regularly in the hope of finding something local - no luck, until now. I'm now 40, so it's been a 21 or 22 year wait!

Now not only has a club opened within a few miles of me, it's actively recruiting new members and is running a beginners' course!

I've registered my interest this morning, and on August the 31st I'll be heading to an open evening where there will be demonstrations of both fighing and Kata (patterns), and hopefully on the Monday folowing that I'll be having a go myself!

For those who don't know about Kendo, here's the Wikipedia link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kendo

If you can't tell - I'm excited!

Well, I went to the open evening last night, and after a demonstration of what Kendo is, and how a class is structured, we were invited to have a go ourselves. I jumped at the chance - after two decades of waiting I wasn't about to turn the offer down!

Kendo is something which looks deceptively simple, but it takes a lot more skill than many people realise to hit another person with a stick!

I felt pretty self-conscious I admit, but that will pass. It became easier to do as I realised that many of those who were having a go were as hopeless or far worse than I was.

Next Monday we start a beginners' course proper. I can't wait!

That's exciting! It's awesome to be that excited about something active. Glad you are enjoying yourself!

I'm now four sessions in - It's been hard, I won't deny it, but lots of fun too.

There's a lot of etiquette (Reigi) to learn in Kendo, as well as the techniques themselves, plus of course the fact that everything is reffered to in Japanese, which is yet another thing to remember.

This week we dipped our toes into the first of the Kata - these are the 'forms' used to learn techniques, most traditional martial arts have them - in Kendo they are all performed with a partner, so in effect, you have to learn the same Kata twice, once as the 'attacker' and again as the 'defender'.

We've also been practicing a lot of footwork and sword techiques. Oh, so much to learn! Sometimes I find that I get a reasonable grip on one thing, then when I try to combine it with something else, the first thing suffers - if I then correct that, something else goes to pot! This is my natural lack of coordination shining though, but I intend to persevere - get the basics right and everything else follows. Picking up bad habits at this stage means they will be very hard to correct further on, so it's very much worth getting it right now!

Something we do is Suburi- this is the repetive practice of various cuts combined with footwork, and is used both to improve technique and also as part of preparation for the rest of the class after a general warm up and stretch, but before the line up and the general instruction parts of the lesson. One of them I have particular difficult with as the feet stop sliding as the tempo goes up and you sort of do a little jump with it- here's a short YouTube video (not me or my class, I might add!): Haya Suburi - so much more difficult than it looks!

So far, so good though, and I'm really enjoying myself. Having trouble with some of the footwork in particular, but I improve a little every session, I feel, and that's important. Our instructor is very encouraging, as are our senior students (while it's a new club, our sensei has brought some of his students with him from various other clubs he trains at) - they seem to have infinite patience with us clumsy oafs!

My mate, who decided to join me when I told him what I was up to had a minor achilles' tendon pull on Monday, so he's limited in what he can do- his doctor asked him what he was doing and made some recommendations as to what he should avoid. Our sensei is very happy to accomodate him with this, and is constantly checking he's okay and asking if he's fine with doing certain things or if he needs to sit something out. We also have a 'larger' chap in class, and again our Sensei appreciates that his fitness levels are lower than many, and if he needs to take a break, he's happy with that. I've heard of instructors in various areas of the Martial Arts that are 'do or die' and believe you should just push through injury or exhaustion (and whilst I believe that pushing yourself is the best way to improve - it is important to recognise the differentiation between that and harming yourself). The fact our instructor takes all of these things into account is good, and is confidence-inspiring.

We already seem to be developing a social aspect of the group outside the dojo too. Heading to the pub around the corner after training is over is not unusual, and discussing what we've learnt in the session over a few drinks is always nice, plus you really get to know the folks you're training with too.

On the 7th and 8th of October we have our Chief Instructor coming to pay his first visit too - he's a fifth Dan, and has coached the Belgian national team, no less. From what I understand, he's pretty strict in the dojo, so it may well be interesting. I've been told that I WILL learn a lot from him - even just watching him fight can impart a lot, by all accounts. On the Saturday evening, we're all going out for beer and a curry (both great British pastimes!), when we can have a more informal chat with him too - he's far less fierce outside the dojo, by all accounts!

In short, it's all good - my two decades of waiting are over and I'm finally getting a chance to try this!

Still going strong! The visit from our chief instructor was a tad on the daunting side, but what I had been told was correct - I did learn a lot!

My coordination is getting better too, slowly but surely- all the various things we need to remember are slowly sinking in, and are almost all happening together. Our instructor tells us that when we can demonstrate 'Ki-ken-tai-no-ichi' (translated roughly as 'Sprit-Sword-Body-One', menaing that all things are working together as one harmonious unit when you attack, more or less), that's when we'll be more or less ready for armour, and a whole new set of things to learn and experience comes into play!

And STILL going strong!

There have been blisters, there have been bruises, but it's all been very much worth it, and I'm pretty sure I'm in this for the long haul. I've found it's a great way to de-stress; as it's a pretty difficult art, you need to put your full concentration into it, and as a result you simply don't get the chance to think about anything else in your life - it's almost like a physical meditation!

Our little cohort (all those who started at around the same time) have now been given the go ahead to get into armour too, so that's going to be an entirely new experience! By all accounts, about 1 in 5 or perhaps 1 in 10 (I forget) folks who get to through the first few months and get to a point where they can wear armour, try it once or twice, find it too heavy or claustraphobic, or movement limiting and give up just like that. It's quite a well known phenomenon apparently...

Still not into armour yet.

In established clubs, when a beginner gets to the stage where they can get into armour, there are usually sets available that they can borrow - old sets that have been replaced by newer stuff and then donated to the club. Our club, being a brand new one, doesn't have this, so we're buying out own. Whilst some of us are in a financial situation where this isn't a problem, others aren't so fortunate (mainly those who are married with kids and a mortgage!).

So we're trying to get as many together as possible before making our order in the hope we can get a bigger discount from our supplier...

Won't be long now - we've waited this long, a few more weeks is as close to nothing as to make no difference.

We've also moved to a new dojo - the old building was falling apart- quite literally at times - and there was a situation developing there in terms of the bloke we paid our rent to. We're now at a nearby school, which is more expensive, but is in one piece and has novel items such a changing facilities!

Next Thursday...

...is when most of our little cohort finally get into armour. Our sensei is heading across the country in his line of work this week, and will be picking up all the sets of bogu that we've ordered from the supplier.

Thursday's session is when we finally get to both try it on and try it out. A mix of anticipation, excitement and nervousness is upon me, I admit.

On the downside of this however is the fact that I'm now carrying a couple of injuries and may have to curtail certain elements of Kendo training in order to let them heal. Philosophically, I need to show some kendo spirit here and go with the flow - this is not an obstacle, but a challenge to be overcome. It may slow my progress down for a while, but Kendo isn't going anywhere. This is a lifetime journey, and there is no end.

"To conquer oneself is a greater victory than to conquer thousands in a battle".

Last night (Monday)...

...our Sensei surprised us all by turning up with all our armour two days early! He’d gone majorly out of his way to collect it, and whilst I haven’t asked him why yet, I suspect he felt that if he sprung it on us, we wouldn’t have time enough to start getting nervous about it – it certainly worked for me – I imagine I’d have been nervous as hell all day Thursday thinking about it at work, and would have been in a right state by the time I got to class and actually got to try on the armour itself.

First impressions: the best description I can manage is to imagine yourself trying to do an aerobics session, dressed in a roll of carpet, wearing a crash helmet, looking through the grill of an electric fire – at the same time you need to swing a tennis racket whilst wearing boxing gloves!

More seriously, the Kote (that’s the gloves for those not Kendo-savvy)make your grip on the Shinai (Bamboo sword) feel incredibly different, and the Men (that’s the head/shoulder protector) not only makes swinging the Shinai feel awkward, but is also hot, and impedes both hearing and vision!

These were all things I was forewarned (and thus foreARMED) about, and I’ve been assured that I’ll get used to it as the bogu (that’s the armour) loosens up and begins to form fit me a bit better.

Our first little bit of sparring was also enlightening, to say the very least!

Another step taken on this endless journey!

I’ve now had three sessions in bogu. It would have been four, but I missed Monday’s session due to a bout of what I can only describe as ‘bleeeuuurgghhh.’. I woke up on Monday feeling run down and not at all ‘with it’, and that continued for a couple of days. I paid attention to getting my head down for a good seven hours for three nights and that seemed to shift it, so by Thursday I was feeling pretty good.

One of the things I’d intended to write about in my last entry about my initial bogu experience and completely forgot about was that of suddenly feeling like a TOTAL beginner again. Having spent the past five or six months doing many things over and over, some of them seem second nature to me (even if my technique is not yet perfect, my muscle memory is finding the movements easier), but as soon as I got into bogu, everything felt so incredibly different, and everything went to pot.

I’ve even had/overcome a minor confidence/anxiety crisis. Things were freaking me out a little I admit, and a dreadful feeling of ‘I’m useless at this and will always be that way’ came over me. However, It’s very difficult to explain, but I think it might be connected to how I was feeling at the beginning of the week – and that my friends, was due to alcohol consumptiom, I’m reasonably sure of that. Let me explain.

I’m convinced that alcohol creates both anxiety and depression in me if I drink too much. And last saturday, whilst I didn’t get hammered, during the course of the day, I drank quite a bit. Sunday I was tired by early evening, and on Monday I was, as has has already been described, ‘bleeeuuurgghhh.’ I was on a low for a couple of days, and was generally down on myself, particularly about work and Kendo.

Anyway, by Thursday I was dreading practice. A week before, when we had come to put on men, I had a Himo crisis (himo are the ‘strings’ that we use to tie the men on with), and despite having practiced repeated at home, I made a total arse up of things and had to go off to one side and try again. Now, when you suffer from anxiety and your confidence isn’t always unshakeable, this molehill can easily become a mountain if you allow yourself to dwell on it. I did.

To cut this increasingly lengthy story short, I said bollocks to my demons, went to practice, and this time got my men on without incident. Practice was hard and hot (oh, so very hot), but I got through it unscathed, save for a couple of clouts on a tender spot on my wrist (one of my fellow ‘bogu-beginners’ gave me a rather clumsy sledgehammer blow last week that caught me right on the knobbly part of the wrist bone, and it’s still sore).

Nobody ever said this was gonna be easy...

Confidence is heading back UP.

My blisters are becoming more of a problem.

It’s now getting to a point where my dodgy feet are beginning to really get me down, and I keep rueing the decision to do Kendo and not Judo. I have a job where I’m on my feet all day, and bad feet are not conducive to that at all. Not at all. On the plus side, I enjoy the physicality of it – it gives me a damn good workout, and the fact it is a ‘proper’ art and not a Mickey Mouse McDojo-spawning one is a bonus (like Judo, Kendo clubs are non-profit, in the Uk at least, run by enthusiasts for enthusiasts as it were). Our dojo, being very new, is also very much a social thing, and I would forever have the feeling of letting everyone else down if I were to ‘defect’.

Will I stick with Kendo? To be honest, I’m not so sure any more. It’s not going to be an overnight decision and much soul-searching will take place before I decide anything. Perhaps it’s just a crisis in confidence and a month from now this will all be a distant memory, but at the moment it’s causing me some worries.

Some time ago (before Kendo came along)I was looking at choosing between TKD and Judo, and dismissed TKD as I suspected I would always feel ‘this just isn’t as good as Judo’. I think I might have mentioned this before in a previous post.

I’m beginning to think the same thing about Kendo, and this has genuinely surprised me as Kendo was always that one art that I always wanted to do. Perhaps it doesn’t suit me quite as well as I thought it would. There is also a cost thing to be taken into consideration here – whist Kendo is cheap to do (monthly costs are very reasonable!), as already stated in recent posts I’ve not long got into armour, and that wasn’t exactly cheap. I’m at what is known as the ‘Kendo hump’. Lots of folks come up against it as they reach the stage where they get into armour. Mostly people freak out when they put it on – it’s hot, heavy, claustrophobic, and you can’t see or hear properly. That I got over fairly quickly, but armour has also meant a total shift in gear, training-wise, and that shift in gear has brought with it a raft of minor injuries, and those damn blisters. The injuries I can cope with – that magic ibuprofen again! – but the blisters are becoming a bit much.

Anyway, just thought an update might be polite, maybe someone out there is interested!

I hate it when I’m soul searching like this (and believe me, soul searching is EXACTLY what I’m doing), without a clue which is the right way to go.

As a final thought, it’s not that I feel I’m making no progress in Kendo – I know I am, and at a similar rate to those who began at the same time I did. I can see the progress I’ve made when I look at the latest raft of beginners struggling with the same things I did. Much like Judo, Kendo is HARD, damn hard. It’s easy to hit someone with a stick, but that alone isn’t Kendo. There’s that same learning curve.

In short – I have a good Sensei, great classmates, yet there’s something about Kendo that just isn’t clicking.

Confidence is back DOWN. Quo vadis?

So, after my last entry, where I was really down and beating myself up more than a little, events have taken a turn.

I’ve had a dodgy elbow for the past couple of months, and looking up my symptoms, I thought I’d probably got a touch of tennis elbow. It’s been affecting me more and more, both at work and at home, not just in Kendo, and as my work was quiet on Monday morning, I decided to haul my arse down to the doctor’s and get it looked at.

The result? Tennis elbow confirmed. The treatment? Anti-inflammatories and rest for several weeks. Whilst stopping work isn’t an option, I can modify the way I do things there to favour my left arm. Kendo, however, is right out.

I went to Kendo and watched last night – I still learnt a surprising amount, though naturally not being able to go with ‘monkey see, monkey do’ is a bit of a handicap.

In short, giving my elbow, along with my other niggling injuries, time to heal, means that when I do pick up a shinai again, I should be pain-free, and able to focus on performing good Kendo (or at least attempting to!), rather than being focused more on enduring the pain, and simply trying to make it to the end.

If this period of rest and anti inflammatories and rest doesn’t work, then it’s steroid injections in the elbow for me, which frankly isn’t too appealing a prospect!

Watching the class last night did remind me of my initial enthusiasm, before I started getting all my aches and pains, and has helped renew my ‘Kendo Spirit’. I’ll be going in at least once a week to watch – this way I’m still learning, and I’m staying in the habit of going to class – it’s all too easy to get into a habit of sitting on one’s arse instead! I’m also going to be asking my Sensei if he’d okay with me bringing my camera in and taking some shots – I think it will be fine as we’ve had photographers in before, and the gallery on our website could do with a few new pictures. Of course, this is highly dependant on any of my shots actually being worth using.

Despite everything, confidence is back on the way UP.